As the fourth month of 2008 rolls in, even the most stern-faced of carmakers have been gripped by the silliness of April Fools’ Day.

At least, we hope they have. Otherwise there are some decidedly dodgy innovations on their way…

BMW has announced a solution to the long-lamented problem of dogs relieving themselves against the alloys of Bavarian motors.

The Canine Repellent Alloy Protection system – or CRAP – is, we are told, the latest addition to the successful EfficientDynamics programme.

Meanwhile, Kia has decided that adults shouldn’t get all the fun when it comes to driving, and has also derided the steering wheel as outdated.

Its big idea is demonstrated by a new concept car, the KEE_wii, which utilises the technology found in a popular games console to allow kiddywinks to get on the road for real.

It’s not just manufacturers at it, either.

The Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders has unveiled ambitious new plans to freeze-dry beer, transporting it in powdered form by road in an effort to improve efficiency.

Masterlease claims its new Horoscope Code will replace the Highway Code, following five years of study into the star signs of drivers.

According to the leasing giant, Mars colliding with Jupiter at the time of your birth dramatically increases the risk of your Mondeo colliding with a boy-racer in a chavved-up Vauxhall Corsa.

The Horoscope Code will be sent out to all Masterlease drivers.

Maybe.