Fleet News

New driver 'viruses' identified

A debilitating virus that is spreading rapidly through the motoring community has been identified by GEM Motoring Assist.

It reveals itself in a number of common strains, all of which result in the dangerous practice of poor signalling.

GEM instructor Audrey Wixon says common strains include token-signal-pox.

“Sufferers tend to indicate after they have already started to turn into a new road,” she explains.

“As they pull their hand down to steer they stick a finger out to apply the indicator.”

She also identified too-cool-to-signal-itis.

Those infected usually own a car with tinted windows and don’t signal at roundabouts because it makes them feel important.

“It gives them the power to bring the junction to a complete standstill while everyone stares at them, wondering where they are going,” she said.

But she says the worst afflicted of all patients are sufferers of the virulent over-eager-signalling-fluenza.

Ms Wixon explained that those with this virus indicate too early, leaving other drivers guessing which turning they are really taking.

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